The Subtle Art of Becoming (Poem)

   The Subtle Art of Becoming

 See, it wasn't a book I picked from a shelf,

Didn't wander into a store, buy it myself.

No, this one was a gift, a rescue,

From a dear friend who saw through, to the truth.

I used to be a soft touch, you know?

A 'yes' with open arms, letting kindness flow.

And got taken advantage of? Yeah, sad, but true.

My friend, she'd shake her head, say, 'Tajah, you're too nice.'

And I'd nod along, a silent plea. My own damn vice.

Because in truth, I wished and longed, with all my might,

That I was treated, just like I treated light.

Then came my twenty-first.

Sandusky, Ohio, the Cedar Point dorm.

A shot glass, 'Queen' etched bright, braving the storm.

A birthday cake, singing, the usual cheer.

And then, the book. Handed over, held so near.

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck."

Because, my friend said, looking straight at me,

"You've got too many fcks to give, Tajah. Believe me."

I told her I'd read it. And I did.

Every page, every lesson, no longer hid.

It helped me understand, helped me stand tall,

Not settle for all the things that made me miserable, made me fall.

That was three years ago, in 2022.

And my soul, it started something new.

Because who says I have to give a fuck?

When they didn't give a fuck for me, for my luck?

It helped me heal, in the very next year, in 2023,

From that hypocritical Christian ex-boyfriend, finally free.

"The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck,"

It literally made sure,

I had no fucks left to give for the things I once endured.

It made me a better person, not cold, not unfeeling,

But taught me to care, to give, with a proper, earned healing.

Give when it's deserved. Give when it's earned.

Not when my love, my friendship, was abused and burned.

I never thought that was a lesson I needed to relearn.

Never knew how much my open heart could churn,

Could be used, could be twisted, against me, a silent plea.

But now the silence is broken. Now, I can see.

So thank you, "Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck,"

For making sure I didn't have to give a complete fuck anymore...

About the abuse, and the hurt, and the damn advantage

 people took of a young woman. Of my open heart.